Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Beginning


A bright white light is all I see. I sit up and look about. Ahh something to focus my eyes on. A couch and a TV showing a world of destruction come into my vision.

Subtley my perception changes, and I realise there is no white, there is only a blue screen behind me - the white is what you see. Oh, I hope that I don't have blue eyes for they will be filtered into nice white orbs.

But what is this? Consciousness? A great philosopher once said "I think, therefore I am". Another great philosopher (Terry Pratchett) took it one step further "Someone thinks I exist, therefore I am" (perhaps not in so many words - but whole books are devoted to it).

So where does that place me? The author thinks I exist therefore I am? Or am I just the figment of the imagination. Well that was Berkeley's belief and he had a university named after him. Perhaps that will be my fate. But already I hear the faint echoes "Not yet my son, not yet. Maybe one day, but not today." The faint echoes sound puzzled as they conclude "And how can a university be named after that which does not have a name?"

Ahh my first quest... my first... adventure. To find a name! But what is in name? Why not be called 'it' and be done with it? And that statement answers itself - no one will listen to 'it'. On the other hand the statement "I'm it" can hold a place of power - you either have me or you have nothing. But no, I think the bennefits don't even clean the guzzards of the the negatives. Plus, what gender am I? If I had a body (hint hint Mr Author) then perhaps I could easily determine - although that would also require me to be classified as a species of some sort, whether real or imaginary - and even then there are so called neutral groups such as angels - and frankly being an angel would not allow me to voice my thoughts and critisms too freely.

Perhaps the logical thing is for me to assume the gender of the author as then I can share a truer understanding, rather than taking an uneducated guess based upon observation, it could be based on experience. So now that I am, I have leaped the breach of consciousness to the basic step of human exitence - the need to classify. Therefore I am 'he'.

Does taking an attribute of humanity make me human? There are some that we see who, although managing to jumble together the genetics and cells in the right order making them appear human, certainly do not act so. But I digress, it is enough to say that humanity is in the eye of the beholder, and therefore the decision lies in your figurative court. Read, ponders, and conclude as you deem - after all I'm still just coming to terms with existence.

I'm sure I was going somewhere with this. Ahh yes. A name. Well, I have discovered forgetfulness, so perhaps 'forgetful' something. I could play on the 'Average Joe' and continue in such a tradition. But am I a 'Joe', do I hold anything average. No. But there is something about the letter J that grabs my attention. Perhaps we'll have a play with that, but first... what is my inheritence. Where do I come from? Mc/D'Author? Perhaps, like in old days of yore, I should take my name from what I do?

What do I do? Ahh the joys of such a decision when I have no clear path. I can be anything, I can go anywhere. I feel some strange vibe... "you are my voice piece" ... Mr Mic? ... "too straightforward" ... So I need to be the voice piece for a particular purpose? Look viber, get to the point, obviously you know my purpose, so tell me... "That's not the way it works, but ok" ... The silence is deafening, purpose I have no purpose? Ack, thats not what I want... "Sorry, I was finding a thesarus. You shall be ... ahh bugger the thesarus... you shall be ... "

Jimmy B. Little